You know you've had too much coffee when...
You answer the door before people knock.
You ski uphill.
You haven't blinked since the last lunar eclipse.
You grind your coffee beans in your mouth.
You can take a picture of yourself from ten feet away without using the timer.
Your eyes stay open when you sneeze.
You chew on other people's fingernails.
You can type sixty words per minute...with your feet.
Cocaine is a downer.
You don't sweat, you percolate.
You go to AA meetings just for the free coffee.
You walk twenty miles on your treadmill before you realize it's not plugged in.
You're so wired, you pick up AM radio.
You channel surf faster without a remote.
When someone says, "How are you?" you say, "Good to the last drop." |